I've said from the beginning that I help get people out of paralysis and find momentum. I help them get unstuck. But as I evolved my offer, I kept getting hung up on how to clearly and succinctly talk about what I do.
As it turns out, I got stuck myself and didn't even recognize it (oh, the bitter irony!). Let me explain...
Transformation is an immensely personal process. It takes bravery to begin and bravery to continue. From the outside, it doesn’t always make sense. That’s okay. The only person it really has to make sense to is you. But therein lies the challenge: holding firm to your own conviction, in the face of inevitable uncertainty.
Today, I want to whisk us back to one of my most surprising periods of change. Because, looking back with the expertise I now hold, I realized that I did a lot of things right without realizing it. And that it was no coincidence that this particular period of liminality led to my dream job and opened the door to even greater opportunities I could never have imagined.
that elevator ride is an apt analogy for our common vernacular about life’s liminal zones (the time between an ending and a new beginning): they’re best gotten through as quickly as possible, with very few people traveling with you. The expectation is that you go in one side and you’re spit out the other end near instantaneously. Voila: you’re in a new world. And yet, they often feel more like that cramped ride, trapped between floors. Whyyyy am I still here? Who are these people asking me when it will be over? Why is it so hot in here?
Would you park in a spot labeled 13? Stay on the 13th floor? This is my 13th post since I rebooted this blog, and it got me thinking. In the U.S., we consider 13 an unlucky number. So much so that as many as 85% of tall buildings go straight from floor 12 to 14. But, I’ve lived around the world and found that 13 is not a universally unlucky number. The Chinese take great pains to avoid 4, because it sounds similar to the word for death. In Japan, it’s 9, in Italy, it’s 17. And so on. So is 13 really bad? But what does this have to do with getting unstuck?
If I asked you to picture a midlife crisis, I think I can safely guess what would pop to mind first. Fancy sports cars? Divorce? A younger partner? Quitting your job? Whether or not you believe that, it’s been a pervading cultural myth: with midlife comes a breakdown of some sort….So I looked up the etymology of the word crisis, and wouldn’t you know: It variously means decision or turning point.
Do you ever wonder what happens to Olympic athletes after they step off the podium? Occasionally, we’ll see them on the other side of the screen in future games – they’re usually the ones telling us that what we perceived as an act of human brilliance actually had flaws that meant a tenth of a point, or a half a second, or whatever the difference is between ending up on the top of the podium versus off in the stands. But, what about the rest of their lives?
If you grew up in the US, you may remember the cartoon with Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner. If you didn’t, here’s the premise: Wile E Coyote was always trying to catch the Roadrunner. He always failed. But, usually once per episode, there was this moment when Coyote had chased Roadrunner so fast that Coyote ran straight off a cliff. For a moment, he’d be suspended in the air. Then he’d look back, see Roadrunner safely on firm ground, then look down, realize his predicament, then crash to the ground. This is an apt analogy for what it feels like to have made a transition in your life…
Imagine yourself running along a paved path, going at quite a nice clip. Suddenly, you come to a wooded area, and the ground changes from paved to dirt. On top of that, a massive ole rainstorm has just passed through, so that dirt is pure mud. You slow down. Your clothes get splattered. … You’re all muddy; the structure of the path you came on is gone, but you can sense something else…
My latest for HBR: “Organizations in need of senior leaders, yet seeking flexibility and lower costs, might do well to consider fractional leaders. By reimagining the traditional approach to hiring senior talent, organizations can gain access to seasoned talent and position themselves for sustainable growth.”
I’m going to interrupt my regular weekly broadcast of laying out the steps in The Art of Getting Unstuck, and instead offer an underlying framework… This framework shows the steps that people take for successful change: They start with a Trigger (often prompted by a Decision, a Derivation, or a Desire), then they start Batting Around a few things.
Rarely do those things work.
